If I were a month I would be: November or October
If I were a day of the week I would be: Monday (just so I could go around singing 'Monday, Monday'
If I were a time of day I would be: nighttime; only time I can sleep
If I were a planet I would be: Uranus! Ha ha! Actually, probably Mars
If I were a animal I would be: A duck
If I were a direction I would be: Left backwards
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a clock that dings every hour. C:

If I were a historical figure I would be: Probably the historical Mush since people can find me obnoxious and I write on the walls in algebra sometimes
If I were a liquid I would be: soda
If I were a tree I would be: weak-wooded spindly evergreen
If I were a flower/plant I would be: calla lily
If I were a kind of weather I would be: sandstorm (just 'cause)
If I were a musical instrument I would be: The drums (any kind: snare, bass, timpany...)
If I were an emotion I would be: Humorous
If I were a color I would be: green
If I were a vegetable I would be: a celery!
If I were a sound I would be: a laugh
If I were an element I would be: Water
If I were a car I would be: A VW Beetle
If I were a song I would be: "Wind-Up Man"--The Monkees (really, change the lyrics slightly and it's true)
If I were a movie I would be directed by: Kenny Ortega (circa Newsies; NOT that piece of crap High School Musical)
If I were a book I would be written by: Francesca Lia Block
If I were a food I would be: a mashed potato
If I were a place I would be: A bookstore
If I were a material I would be: denim
If I were a taste I would be: delicious
If I were a scent I would be: bread in the supermarket
If I were a word I would be: RADICAL
If I were an object I would be: a stuffed animal
If I were a body part I would be: left pinky toe
If I were a facial expression: C:
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Pepper Ann
If I were a shape I would be a: an octogon
If I were a number I would be: 77